


Favorite Melody (Soulmate AU) - H2OVanoss Oneshot

by Spoob_doob



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Anxiety, As Fuck, Cuties, Dorks in Love, Drabble, Everything is fluff and nothing hurts, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay, H2OVanoss - Freeform, Happy Ending, Hugs, I just thought it'd be cute, I love him so much you don't understand, I love luke with all my heart and soul, I put em at the end, I'd say there's angst but honestly there really isn't, I'm Sorry, I'm sorry for always using four thousand tags, I'm sure I missed some so I'm sorry, I'm upset too don't worry, Jonathan has dimples!, Jonathan is a flustered adorable bean, Lots of Music, M/M, Oneshot, Panic Attack, Pining, Sappy, Slow Burn, So I actually spent a lot more time on this, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, They all do tbh, They need hugs, This is cute I swear, Ugh, all around, and I love his friendship with jonathan, and deserves more love, and it was, and singing, assumed unrequited, but still not super edited, but yeah luke, delitoonz is best bromance btw, except they make more gay jokes but that's besides the point, flustered beans, good beans, he's a good bean, he's so good, helped me not to think too much, hopefully it's good enough, i am a shitpost, i had fun writing it, idk what to call this, if you know that one, im lov, it wasn't meant to be this long either but it happened, it's just a lot, it's real cute, it's real fluffy, it's so cute and wholesome, it's the one with the songs stuck in your head and your soulmate singing it, listen to the songs, little bit, lmao okay I'm done enjoy my garbage, love their friends too, love these boys, more Jonathan centric but it flip flops between the two, my gay sons, oh also sorry for any typos, sadly not everyone is in this, shitpost, slight angst, songfic???, tags are also shitpost, take away these sinful hands, that's important to me I need it, they both get awkward and blushy sometimes, they really are like brothers I think, they're all so good and I love them so much, they're so supportive, this is edited slightly more than my other fics, this time daithi is the main help boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 00:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12782826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoob_doob/pseuds/Spoob_doob
Summary: If you’ve ever seen the post about a soulmate au where when a song is stuck in your head, it’s because your soulmate is singing it, that’s what this one is. I liked the idea, and thought it’d be cute. I added my own spin on the idea though, that being that when they sing it, you hear the song in their voice.For WatchAndLearnKidLove your work a lot, I've read pretty much all of it, and it inspired me to write stuff for this fandom. I decided to dedicate this to you after I finished it, so here. I hope you like it. It's by no means anywhere near as good as your writing, but I hope it suffices nevertheless.I figured this would probably be the only thing I'll write for this fandom that might actually be worth your time, emphasis on might. Anyways I hope you like it, if you end up reading it.





	Favorite Melody (Soulmate AU) - H2OVanoss Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WatchAndLearnKid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchAndLearnKid/gifts).



> So, this isn’t my best work by any means. I wrote it so I wouldn’t have to think about some stuff, and this just kinda ended up being the result. Song list comes from my go-to's when I’m in a bad place mentally, whether it be because of my depression or anxiety. They’ve just helped me calm my thoughts a bit.  
> See the end notes for the song list.  
> And sorry for any typos that I missed. I hope it's still readable despite that.
> 
> Edit: Ahhhh when did we hit 100 kudos?? Thank you so much!! I honestly never expected for this to get that much love, or really any at all tbh, thanks a bunch! I love you guys!

Evan had learned at a fairly young age why songs he hadn’t heard got stuck in his head. He had asked his mom about it one day, and she explained to him that it was because his soulmate was singing it.

 

“The voice you hear too, that’s their voice,” she had added with a gentle smile. Evan thought about it for a moment before deciding that it was the  _ coolest  _ thing he’d ever heard. He was  _ destined _ to be with someone out there, and although they’d never met, he could still  _ hear _ them. 

 

As the years went by, the songs changed, but on a semi-consistent basis, Evan would have a song stuck in his head, some he recognized, others he didn’t. But they always came through in the same voice, words slurring together, and not always in pitch. Evan enjoyed it nevertheless. He’d grown to be a bit sappy, and the idea of his  _ soulmate _ singing to him was incredibly endearing and sweet in his mind, not that he’d admit that out loud to any of his friends. He may be a bit of a sap, but that’s nothing they needed to know.

 

Evan made a habit to sing something at least once a week, whenever he could. He had no idea if his soulmate even  _ liked _ his singing, and he knew he definitely wasn’t the best at it, but he figured at the least, they should know what he sounds like, too. He picked a different song each week, sat himself down, and would sing and play his guitar. And each time, the song that was stuck in his head before would fade out, only to be replaced a while later with a new tune. This was the closest they’d ever been to speaking to each other.

 

Usually, Evan would play happy songs, ones he’d heard since he was young and knew well, knew when he needed to raise or lower his voice, which notes to strum out, without even thinking about it. Some of them were love songs, and he hoped that wasn’t weird for him to play. It  _ was _ his soulmate, so he figured it’d be fine. 

 

Once he was in high school, he started writing his own songs to play and sing. He had some help from his online friend David. David had written a few of his own songs, and was happy to help Evan come up with something nice and sweet to sing for his soulmate. Even though Evan still had  _ no idea _ who his soulmate could be, he was happy with their little arrangement they had going on. That is, until after he’d moved away from home.

 

He heard the familiar voice in his head, still off-key as ever, but it was his  _ soulmate’s  _ voice. They sang louder than usual, and Evan could  _ feel _ how much of their heart they put into singing this one. He listened to the sad little tune, hanging on to  _ every word _ like a  _ lifeline _ . 

 

_ Seeing past. It's about time I ask for more _

_ Watching my life, and the distance we have come _

_ Well I've lived, well I've learned but I always seem to give up on myself _

 

Evan’s chest felt tight. It constricted painfully the longer he listened to the song. He could hear the voice break then, continuing to sing a few more lines, before the song suddenly died out and he was left with a quiet buzzing in his head.  _ They were crying. _ Evan started up at his ceiling, processing what happened.  _ What do I do? Are they okay? _ He tried to think of a song he could sing, something to reach out to them in some way. He wasn’t sure if he’d get an answer back, but he felt he had to try. He needed to  _ try _ and help them.

 

He scooped up his guitar, strumming at it impatiently as he tried to think of a song, something comforting, something that might ease their pain. He wished he could be there, that he would be able to hold them himself and tell them it was okay. But he wasn’t, he didn’t even know their  _ name, _ and they didn’t know his. They were strangers tied together by an invisible bond. So he did the only thing he could. He sang one of his favorite songs. It was an acoustic one, something he’d found online by chance one day. He found it helped him relax and unwind sometimes. He only hoped it’d be enough.

 

_ With a knock, knock and my eyes come open.  _

_ I light a match and orange fills the room.  _

 

He began softly, voice shaking slightly. Evan really had  _ no idea _ what to do in this situation, only that he  _ needed _ to do  _ something. _ And so he kept singing, slowing the song down more than it had originally been, trying to keep it a more calming sound.

 

_ Joking that the jack saw too much.  _

_ Oh, you be hearts and I'll be spades. _

 

Evan sang the song to it’s close, ending it less abruptly than the original, and waited. For what, he wasn’t really sure. Some indication that he may have done some good, but it never came. He stood up with a sigh, putting his guitar back on it’s stand near one wall of his room.

 

\---------------

 

Jonathan rocked himself slowly in the corner. Everything felt so  _ wrong _ and he couldn’t  _ for the life of him _ explain how, or why he felt that way. Nothing seemed to fit in place, and he felt so  _ lost _ and out of place in the world. It seemed nothing he did made a difference or ever made it better. He tried to blame anything he could. Anyone who’d made him feel like shit, anything that made it harder for him to keep going through the days, nothing helped. Nothing made it better.

 

He sat in the dark corner of his room, trying to sing to himself, to calm himself down, stop the panic rising in his chest. He picked a song, an old favorite, singing it as loud as he could, hoping if he  _ sang out _ everything he was feeling, sang out his  _ heart and soul _ that it would help. But it didn’t. His voice broke about halfway through the song, the notes falling flat as the words fell apart into strangled cries. Tears coated his cheeks as he pressed his face into his arms, hugging his knees to his chest, trying to remember how to breathe, when a voice entered his thoughts, broke through the barrier he had been building around himself. His movements stopped as he listened to the words.

 

Slowly, he lifted his head up, uncurling from his cocooned position.  _ My soulmate. _ His soulmate was singing to him now, a soft little song, one he’d never heard before but immediately decided he liked. It wasn’t the happiest song, but he enjoyed it either way. He liked  _ the voice _ singing it the most. It started off shaky, but soon enough found it’s rhythm and continued on through the song. Jonathan had heard them sing before, but it was different this time. This time, the song was specially picked  _ just for him _ , because they had _ heard  _ him,  _ felt _ how he was hurting inside. He smiled softly, lifting himself from the floor to move under the blankets on his bed. He allowed the sweet voice to lull him into a dreamless sleep.

 

When Jonathan awoke the next day, it was to another song peacefully playing in his mind, another new one. The voice was singing more confidently this time, and though it wasn’t the perfect voice, Jonathan loved the sound of it  _ far more _ than any professional he’d ever heard.

 

_ and you'll never leave my sights again _

_ cause I know what matters _

_ I will stay right by your side _

 

Jonathan smiled softly, electing to stay curled up under his comforter for just a little longer.

 

_ I've got the moon in my heart _

_ You've got the sun in your eyes _

_ Together we'll live forever amongst the twilit skies _

 

Once the song came to it’s close, Jonathan slowly blinked his eyes open, squinting in the morning light streaming in through the blinds. He sat up, rubbing at his eyes and dragging himself to his feet. His mind went quiet once again, a soft buzzing sound reverberating in his head instead. He missed the voice, but knew it wasn’t fair to ask his soulmate to sing  _ constantly _ just for his peace of mind. He shuffled lazily to the bathroom, flinching slightly as his feet hit the cool tiled floor. Jonathan looked at himself in the mirror. Despite that this was the best night's sleep he’d had in  _ ages, _ he still looked like tired crap.

 

The bags under his eyes remained a dark, bruised purple. His hair stuck up every which way. His eyes were red from his crying fit the night before. He looked thinner than he remembered. Jonathan lightly pressed a hand into his chest, feeling the bones beneath his skin.  _ Have they always been so prominent? _ He shook his head, stripping himself down and hopping in the shower. He sighed into the hot water, closing his eyes and ducking his head under the stream. The water seeped into his skin, easing the tension in his muscles.

 

He felt lighter, like his troubles were being washed down the drain along with the water. He squeezed a spot of shampoo into his hand, massaging his fingers into his scalp. He let it sit for a few moments, breathing in the steam and feeling the warmth in his  _ bones _ . He turned his back to the water, tilting his head back and scrubbing out all the soap. 

 

Jonathan sang softly, letting the words evaporate into the steamy air around him. He soaked in the water for a bit longer before shutting it off, towelling off and heading into his room to get dressed.

 

The next few days passed by normally. Jonathan continued singing when he felt like it, and sometimes he’d hear his soulmate’s voice singing another song, sort of like they were talking to each other. It was nice, albeit a little odd. Jonathan wanted to try and find them, to meet, but he really had no idea of where to start.

 

It was a week after his panic attack that he finally called Luke.

 

“Hello?” Luke’s voice answered over the phone, a bit groggy like he’d been asleep.

 

“Hey, Luke,” Jonathan greeted casually. “You busy?”

 

“Yeah, I was sleeping,” the other man grumbled through the speaker. Jonathan laughed a bit at that, stating his apologies, though he wasn’t really sorry at all. Not his fault Luke had stayed up late the night before. “What’s goin’ on, Jon?” Jonathan’s giggles died out quickly at that.

 

“How,” he paused for a moment, debating on whether or not he should continue. “How do you find your soulmate?” His voice came out in a whisper. He heard Luke’s breathing go silent. Then,

 

“I don’t know, Jon. I really don’t.” Jonathan could hear the sadness in his best friend’s voice. He regretting bringing it up in the first place. “You know, at one point, maybe… But now, I really don’t know.” Jonathan nodded before remembering Luke couldn’t see him.

 

“Yeah, I got it. Sorry for bringing it up.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” The call fell silent again. “Jon, soulmates can change, you know? It’s rare, but it  _ does _ happen. When you find yours, just hope that it doesn’t. Take care of yourself.” Jonathan mumbled out something resembling an agreement, apologizing again before disconnecting the call. He laid down fully on his couch, then rolled over onto his stomach, pressing his face into the cushions and letting out a long, muffled groan.

 

\---------------

 

“Hey, Evan. Evan!” Evan snapped back to awareness, blinking twice before remembering what he was doing. He stared at his tv screen, gta still open with his friend Tyler’s character standing in front of his, holding a c4. “You good, man? You keep zoning out. I was about to blow your ass up.” Evan let out a nervous chuckle.

 

“Yeah, sorry I’m alright. Just a bit distracted,” Evan rubbed at the back of his neck as he spoke. He tried to keep the worry out of his voice, though he wasn’t so sure that it was working.

 

“What’s going on with you man?” he finally asked. “You’ve been really out of it lately.” Evan remembered the incident from a few days before clearly. So far, he hadn’t heard his soulmate  _ cry _ again, but the songs they sang still held a familiar note of  _ profound _ sadness, something which deeply  _ unnerved  _ the canadian. He sighed, shaking his head.

 

“It’s nothing, Tyler. I’m alright.” Tyler didn’t seem convinced at all, but he let the subject drop, choosing to instead call up a few of the other guys to join them for a gta heist. 

 

By the end of their session, Evan was left with a decent recording that he’d have to edit, but he didn’t really care to work on it at that point. He closed discord, slouching down in his chair. His head lolled back onto the backrest. He kicked away from his desk, letting the chair roll back in a lazy circle. Evan’s feet dragged against the floor, stopping the motion. He stared up at the ceiling, scanning the series of bumps and cracks that scarred it’s surface. He sat up with a huff, pulling himself out of his chair. His phone buzzed in his pocket.  _ Marcel. _

 

Marcel was one of the few in their group who’d already found his soulmate, and generally was the one to pick up the fastest on soulmate-related issues. Evan sighed before answering the phone. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Evan, hey. You doing okay lately?” It wasn’t that Evan didn’t appreciate his friends’ concern. He did, he really did. He just wasn’t sure how they could help him. They wouldn’t be able to tell him if his soulmate was  _ okay, _ or  _ what was wrong _ with them. They’d just be able to tell him things he already knew, and that just  _ wasn’t helping. _ He let out a loud sigh.

 

“Yeah, Marcel, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it,” he grumbled out. “Nothing you can do to help, anyways,” he added, knowing that the other wouldn’t believe his  _ bullshit _ . 

 

“You sure? You know you can talk to us right? Sometimes it’s good just to let it out.” 

 

“Thanks, man, but really. I’ll be fine.” Marcel finally gave in with a sigh, telling Evan to talk to them when he needed, reminding him they’d all always be there. Evan thanked him, and ended the call. He knew they were just worried, and they wanted to help, and he understood. But talking about it  _ wouldn’t _ help. It wouldn’t  _ find _ his soulmate, wouldn’t help them  _ feel _ better, and wouldn’t  _ ease their pain. _ So really, Evan  _ did _ appreciate them, and their concern, but it was becoming  _ exhausting _ every time they’d ask what was going on, and ask if he needed to talk.

 

He dropped down face first onto his bed with a huff, not even bothering to change before crawling under the covers. He wasn’t tired, just.. Felt drained. The canadian wasn’t quite sure how to explain it. There was a distinct  _ wrongness _ about things around him, and he didn’t really know what that meant. He thought about calling Marcel back and asking him, but eventually decided against it. He didn’t want to cause his friends any more worry than he already had. He pulled the blankets over his head, groaning loudly, then throwing the covers off and standing up. He needed to blow off some steam.

 

\---------------

 

Jonathan’s second panic attack that month came a few days later.

 

He’d been sitting in his room at his computer, recording some single player stuff for his channel when it hit him. He didn’t even get a chance to stop his recording before he bolted out of the room, hurriedly slipping on his shoes and a jacket before darting out into the cool night air. It was fall, not to cold and not too warm, but it was also nighttime, so it was  _ much _ colder than it’d been during the day. He shivered and kept walking. He didn’t know where he was going, just that he needed to walk, to move. Breathe.

 

Jonathan had made it about a mile out before he had to stop walking. He ducked into an alley and hunched over,  _ gasping  _ for breath. His chest felt tight, like there was a huge weight on it. He tried to take in big,  _ hungry _ gulps of air, but still felt like he was suffocating. Everything felt  _ wrong _ and he felt like he was  _ dying _ . His body was shaking, and he felt sick, and- oh. Jonathan barely had time to move the rest of his body out of the damage zone before he was emptying the contents of his stomach onto the pavement. He coughed and gagged, tears clouding his vision as he stood on his trembling legs. He wiped his mouth and forced his legs to move. He needed to keep moving. 

 

Whenever he stopped moving, he felt like everything was going in slow motion. It was disorienting and made him feel sick. Jonathan kept up his pace, stumbling down the street before deciding he wouldn’t be able to keep going like this. He didn’t even have his phone with him. He needed to get to Luke, or someone, just- He couldn’t be alone. He didn’t trust himself to be alone in that moment.

 

\---------------

 

Evan felt a sinking feeling in his gut. He couldn’t explain _why,_ just that something felt very _very_ _wrong_. He tried to brush it off, electing to ignore it, but it wouldn’t go away. A buzzing made itself known in the back of his head, growing louder the harder he tried to ignore it. It was at that point that he finally cracked and called Marcel. He answered on the third ring.

 

“Evan? You good?” Evan swallowed nervously.

 

“I, I think so.  _ I’m  _ okay,” he said slowly, uncertainly. “I think it’s something with my soulmate.” Marcel stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. So, Evan told him everything. About the incident with the panic attack, how the songs have been  _ consistently _ sad since then, and how he felt in that moment. The sinking  _ dread _ falling like a rock in his stomach, the  _ wrongness _ of it all. He didn’t know what to do. Marcel listened carefully, wordlessly until Evan was finished. “What should I do?” Marcel took in a deep breath.

 

“Shit, man. Yeah, that can happen with soulmates sometimes. If they’re distressed, you can feel it too. That’s usually a good sign, though. It means your bond is stronger than most. Usually though it doesn’t happen until  _ after _ you’ve met. Um, you said you sang for them last time, right? Did it help?”

 

“I have no idea,” Evan answered truthfully. “I mean, maybe, but I have no way of knowing.” He fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 

 

“Try singing to them again, maybe it’ll help. Worth a shot, at least. Not much you can really do. I’m sorry, Ev.” Evan nodded thoughtfully then said,

 

“Yeah, I’ll try that for now. Thanks, I’ll uh, I’ll talk to you later,” Evan said. Marcel barely got out his goodbye before Evan had hung up the phone and grabbed his guitar, strumming a few notes before beginning the song.

 

_ The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how _

_ The clouds above opened up, and let it out _

 

The song was slow, a bit melancholy, but Evan found it helped him relax at times. He just hoped it’d be enough.

 

\---------------

 

Jonathan felt a buzzing in his ears before the song started. That voice he’d grown so fond of singing a sweet sad little tune, and he knew then that it was for him, and not just because they’d wanted to sing. It felt much too personal, too much raw emotion for it to just be singing like any other time. His legs collapsed underneath him as he broke down  _ sobbing. _ Jonathan’s whole body shook  _ violently _ as he sat sprawled out on the sidewalk. His chest  _ hurt, _ he felt so  _ empty _ and  _ lost _ , yet so much  _ closer _ to complete with that voice in his head, and it was then that he finally realized  _ why _ he’d been feeling this way.

 

There were a number of rare occurrences with soulmates. Sometimes, like had happened with Luke and his sister, they changed over time. Sometimes, the person you’re destined to be with ends up changing over the years, though it doesn’t happen often. 

 

Another odd occurrence, is how sometimes, your soulmate ends up  _ truly _ being your other half. No one had been able to explain exactly  _ what  _ it is that makes the soulmate bond occur, or what determines its strength. In some cases, however, the bond can be so  _ strong _ that it renders it  _ unbreakable. _ People with those kinds of soulmates can never really feel  _ whole _ without the other. There will always be a  _ void _ in their life that can’t be filled without them, and it wasn’t until  _ then, _ sitting there in a useless  _ heap _ on the sidewalk, that he realized  _ why _ he felt the way he did. 

 

He suddenly understood how his soulmate could just  _ know _ what he was feeling, even without him crying during a song, even when he would sing happy songs. His soulmate  _ knew _ how he felt because of their  _ bond. _ Jonathan could feel some mixture of awe and utter  _ devastating _ sadness. He  _ needed _ to find his soulmate, or he’d never  _ truly _ be happy.

 

\---------------

 

Evan felt like his chest was  _ collapsing _ . He knew he was breathing fine, knew he had enough air, but somehow felt like the world was  _ crushing _ him. Something was very, very,  _ horribly _ wrong, and he was  _ powerless _ to stop it. He tried another song, his voice shaking more and more the longer he kept singing. His eyes were  _ burning, _ his insides  _ screaming _ at him to do  _ something, _ but nothing worked. His soulmate could very well be  _ dying _ and he couldn’t do a  _ damned thing  _ to stop it.

 

_ When you were standing in the wake of devastation _

_ When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown _

_ And with the cataclysm raining down _

_ Insides crying, "Save me now!" _

_ You were there, impossibly alone _

 

Everything stopped the moment the voice was in his head. Evan could hear the strain, how hard they were trying to keep it together, to stop crying as they sang the words. He held his breath, trying to hear the soft voice over the blood  _ pounding _ in his ears. He concentrated on the words, on the sound of  _ his soulmate’s _ voice in his head, trying to calm them  _ both _ down now.

 

The song came to a close, and Evan felt his body relax, the tension in his shoulders easing away, his breathing returning to normal. The sinking feeling he’d felt was now replaced with _ relief. _ His soulmate, at least for  _ now, _ was okay. But he wasn’t sure how long that would last, or how it would affect  _ him _ next time.

 

\---------------

 

Jonathan slumped against a brick wall, breathing still ragged, but slowly settling down to a normal rate. His heart was  _ pounding _ , but he was okay. He was  _ alive _ , and  _ breathing. _ He took a few deep breaths, legs still shaking as he stood up again. He made his way back to his apartment, keeping to side streets in case he had another episode. Generally, nothing good happened for him when other people decided to get involved in his personal affairs. 

 

He made it back home safely without incident, tossing his coat to the floor and kicking off his shoes. He locked the door behind him before making his way to his room, stumbling around in the dark. He didn’t even turn off his computer before collapsing in a heap on his bed and drifting off to sleep. 

 

The next day, Jonathan made his way groggily to his computer, stopping his recording grumpily. He’d slept like shit, no surprise there, and was in  _ no mood _ to deal with recording and editing that day. He closed all his games and pulled up chrome, clicking over to youtube to look for some videos to watch.  _ At least it’ll be a good distraction. _

 

Jonathan navigated through the site, flipping through different channels. He’d clicked on a few, but nothing had really held his attention, until he finally settled on one he enjoyed.  _ Vanoss, eh? Okay, let’s see what you got. _

 

\---------------

 

Evan awoke the next morning in a haze. His whole body felt heavy and weak as he stood, his legs shaking slightly under the strain. He took a moment to regain his balance before making his way to his computer. He turned it on, navigating to youtube to set a video to start uploading. While the video was rendering, he checked his notifications, reading through a few comments on his latest upload before he noticed he had an unread message.

 

_ H2O Delirious? _ He read through the message, then clicked over to the guy’s channel, selecting his most recent video. It was a trolling video, not unlike ones Evan recorded himself. He watched through a few more videos before shooting out a reply to the message, giving him his skype so they could record together sometime. To pass the time, Evan edited a new video, trying to shake off the thoughts of Delirious because  _ who the hell laughs like that? _ It was interesting, to say the least. 

 

A couple hours passed before Evan got a notification on skype, seeing Delirious had added him as a friend. He clicked accept, and was greeted by a message almost instantly.

 

_ Delirious: Hey! Glad you accepted, I wasn’t sure if you’d reply. :P _

 

_ Vanoss: Yeah, I checked out some of your vids, pretty funny stuff man. _

_ Delirious: Thanks, yours too. So when do you wanna record? I’m down whenever. _

 

Evan thought for a moment. He  _ was _ free right then, but maybe it would be better to get a few of the other guys in too? 

 

_ Vanoss: Uhhh, that depends, you wanna do one with just the two of us, or should I get a few of the other guys in as well? _

 

_ Delirious: Doesn’t matter to me, just hit me up when you feel like recording something.  _

 

\---------------

 

From their first recording session, Jonathan and Evan had hit it off almost immediately. They became good friends right away, and while the others had also taken a liking to Jonathan pretty quickly, he and Evan had become  _ much _ closer than they had. Jonathan’s laugh had become the soundtrack to Evan’s days. He couldn’t help but feel like Jonathan’s voice sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place it. 

 

They had been in a call after recording one night, the others had already logged off, leaving the two alone. They talked for what felt like  _ hours _ , though it probably wasn’t nearly that long, until they fell into a comfortable silence.  _ Would you sing for me? _ Evan almost asked, but thought better of it. He didn’t want to say anything to make the other uncomfortable. Instead, what he did say was,

 

“Hey, you should come to pax with us, you don’t have to tell all your fans it’s you, but you should come hang out with us.” Evan dropped his head when he heard Jonathan sigh, and he knew what the answer was.

 

“Ev, look, I  _ do _ want to meet you guys, I just don’t know if pax is the best idea… I mean, somebody could figure it out, you know?” Evan nodded, momentarily forgetting that Jonathan couldn’t see him, before muttering out a resigned,

 

“Yeah, I know. I just thought maybe you’d want to come with us.” Jonathan let out a small  _ hmm _ before suddenly Evan heard his hand hit his desk as he said

 

“Oh! Wait, I got it!”

 

“I’m listening…”

 

“Well, I can’t risk going to pax, you know?” Jonathan started, speaking in a rush. “But what if we all do a meet up somewhere? One our houses, or something? It might be hard to get everyone together, but then we could still meet up.” Evan could  _ hear _ the smile in the other man’s voice as he spoke, could just imagine the excited  _ glint _ in the eyes of his faceless friend. He mulled over the idea carefully.

 

“I  _ am _ moving into a new house soon,” he said slowly, a grin spreading across his face. “Once I get settled in, we could get everyone to come down to my place. It’s a pretty big house, so we shouldn’t have an issue with space. It’s still gonna be a while though.” 

 

“So what? We’ll all get to hang out without bein’ bombarded by fans.” Jonathan’s enthusiasm was contagious. Evan agreed, it  _ would _ be a lot of fun to get them all together. 

 

“Let’s do it.”

 

\--------------- (sorry if that all felt kinda rushed, I just really needed to get things moving along in this. >~<)

 

Pax came and went, and the day they were all meeting up at Evan’s was drawing closer and closer. They still had a few weeks left, but Jonathan was quickly becoming anxious. 

 

He hadn’t been having his panic attacks  _ nearly _ as often, though they did still occur. He felt better, but still wrong.  _ Something _ was still missing, and while now he knew it was because he wasn’t with his  _ soulmate _ , it did little to ease the feeling. The feeling was almost completely gone whenever they all recorded, though Jonathan attributed that to just being a distraction. 

 

He still sang songs regularly, and his soulmate would sing one back to him. He thought the voice sounded  _ suspiciously _ similar to Evan’s, but ultimately figured it was a coincidence. Though something in his chest seemed to disagree, stirring to life with a torrent of butterflies when they ended up alone in a call together, or when Evan laughed  _ particularly _ hard at something someone said. It was a bit worrisome, that his best friend could be his  _ soulmate _ , but something about it was comforting, too. 

 

The most concerning part, in Jonathan’s mind, was that Evan might not be into guys, in which case they’d be  _ platonic  _ soulmates. Not very common, but it did happen occasionally. While that wouldn’t be the  _ worst _ thing, it was a thought that Jonathan’s anxiety deemed important enough to cloud his thoughts with anyways. He didn’t even know for sure if Evan  _ was _ his soulmate, there was no  _ real reason _ to worry about potentially irrelevant things. Unless, of course, your mind is full of demons that control your life. Sounds fun, doesn’t it.

 

Jonathan had run through  _ thousands _ of possible scenarios of meeting the guys. Realistically, they’d like him no matter what he looked like. They were friends, after all. No reason for them not too.  _ They’ll probably think you’re ugly, or not cool enough in person. You’re too skinny and weird. Way quieter too. They’ll stop talking to you eventually.  _ As much as he tried to block out the thoughts, they made their way through his barrier, breaking down the delicate walls he’d built and causing his breathing to become ragged as he fought another panic attack.

 

_ Damn, it’s been going so good too. Almost three weeks. _ He tried to think of a song to sing, something that would calm his nerves before a voice filtered into his head, filling his ears with a soft melody.  _ Beat me to it. _ He could feel the panic subside almost  _ instantly. _ His heartbeat slowed to a steady rhythm, no longer a deafening thud in his ears. He would have said thank you, had he been able to, but given that he still didn’t know for sure if his soulmate was Evan, he was left hoping they- or he, would understand his calm silence as gratitude. 

 

_ Everything will be fine. _ Jonathan tried to reassure himself.  _ Your soulmate doesn’t even know you and still cares this much, your friends  _ do _ know you. They’ll still like you. _ He found a small smile gracing his features as the soft melody drew to a close, leaving a warmth resonating deep within him. It was comforting, safe, something Jonathan  _ hoped _ he could get used to.

 

He spent his time leading up to the meet up at Evan’s doing  _ anything _ to distract himself. He spent a lot more time with Luke than he had in awhile. He felt bad about it. Luke had always been a good friend to him, someone he held very close, someone he trusted  _ completely. _ Jonathan knew he could tell him anything, and he’d do whatever he could to return the favor. He was something of a brother to him, despite how things had turned out with him and his sister. 

 

Luke took care to make sure Jonathan was remembering to take care of himself, and that he didn’t act too strange or nervous whenever he got talking to the rest of the guys. He helped keep him grounded, sane. The day before his flight was set to take him to L.A., Jonathan was more jumpy and nervous than ever.

 

“Are you sure you can’t come with me?” he pleaded. Luke just sighed and shook his head.

 

“You know I can’t, Jon. I have to work. Besides, they’re more  _ your _ friends than mine. Just go have fun, I  _ promise _ nothing bad is gonna happen.” Jonathan stood rigidly before finally nodding and giving a small, ‘Okay.’ Luke squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before stepping behind him to his suitcase. “So, you got everything packed?”

 

“Yep.” Luke looked him over before listing a few things. Jonathan gave a resounding “yes” to every single one. Once they were sure he had everything set to go, Luke grabbed Jonathan roughly by his shoulders.

 

“Listen to me _very_ _carefully,_ Jonathan. I don’t _care_ what your mind is telling you, it’s all going to be just _fine._ Okay? You hearing me?” Jonathan nodded, eyes wide as he looked up at his best friend. “Whether Evan is your soulmate or not, you two will be fine too. Don’t overthink it too much. If you need me, call me. Don’t get stuck in your head too much. You’re going there to _have fun._ Just try to relax and enjoy yourself.” Luke stared at him intently, waiting until Jonathan nodded again before softening his gaze and releasing the vice grip he had on him. “Okay. Now you should get some sleep. You have an early flight,” and with that, they said their goodbyes, Luke pulling Jonathan into a bone-crushing hug before he headed out the door, yelling out one last, “It’s all going to be fine, don’t worry so much,” before he was in his car driving away.

 

\---------------

 

Jonathan had never been fond of flying. That’s probably part of the reason he’d never gone anywhere too far. It wasn’t enough to trigger a panic attack, but it  _ did _ leave an air of uneasiness around him. It felt like a weight settling in his gut. He gripped tightly to his armrests as the plane left the ground, trying to keep himself distracted by singing softly to himself. 

 

_ Do you want to go to the seaside? _

_ I'm not trying to say that everybody wants to go _

_ I fell in love at the seaside _

 

He didn’t sing loudly, not wanting to be heard by anyone near him on the plane. Luckily, he was in the last row, and didn’t have anyone seated next to him. Jonathan kept himself distracted, trying to focus on the positive scenarios of what was to come.  _ I’ll see you soon, Evan. I’ll see you all soon. _

 

\---------------

 

Everything was set up around the house, and Evan waited anxiously for everyone to get there. Unfortunately, not everyone was able to go, so it was only himself, Jonathan, Tyler, David, Craig, and Marcel. While it was upsetting that their group wasn’t complete, they were all still excited to see each other. Especially to see Jonathan. As he was the only one who hadn’t ever shown his face, the others were eager to finally see the face behind the famous laugh. 

 

Marcel and Tyler were the first to arrive, with Tyler banging on the door loudly before bursting in with a shout of,

 

“What’s up bitch? We’re here!” Evan made his way to the door, greeting the two with hugs before they all made their way into the living room. Evan was set to pick up Craig and David within the next two hours. In the meantime, the three sat around the living room, cracking jokes and playing some video games. The house was  _ filled _ with Tyler and Marcel’s near  _ constant _ screaming.

 

Soon enough, everyone collectively sat in the living room playing mario kart, leaving just Jonathan, who still had yet to arrive. They tried to be patient, but the anticipation was getting to be too much. His flight should have landed by now, what was taking so long?

 

\---------------

 

Jonathan stood just outside the front door, the fading sunlight casting ominous shadows around him. His bag sat on the ground next to him. He raised his arm to knock, then dropped it down to his side. Pulling out his phone, he dialed a familiar number, hoping for some moral support, or encouragement, though he was sure it would come a bit harshly.

 

“Jonathan? What’s goin’ on? I wasn’t expecting a call until at  _ least _ a  _ day  _ has gone by.” Luke sounded half amused, half irritated. Jonathan wasn’t sure which was worse.

 

“I haven’t even gone in yet. Is it too late to back out?” he was met with loud shouts coming through the phone in response. He held it a safe distance from his ear and tried to make out what Luke was saying.

 

“Jonathan I swear to god if you don’t get your fuckin’ ass in that goddamn house, I  _ will _ come over there and firmly shove  _ my foot _ up it. Get moving.” Jonathan didn’t get a chance to say anything before Luke hung up the phone. It  _ did, _ however, give him the push he needed to go inside. 

 

Rather than knocking, he creaked the door open quietly, smiling as he heard the voices of his friends carrying through the house to him. He left his bag just inside the door, slipped off his shoes and jacket, then continued down the hall. Jonathan followed the voices, heart beating faster and faster as they got louder, until he was standing in the room, seeing all of them  _ in person for the first time. _

 

Evan was the first to notice his presence in the doorway, his eyes widening as he went silent, staring open-mouthed at Jonathan. He shuffled his feet uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact as the rest turned their attention to him. Suddenly, he was enveloped in a big hug, face pressed into the chest of their  _ giant _ of a friend known as Tyler.

 

“Good to finally  _ see you _ , man.” All of the tension eased off of Jonathan’s shoulders at that. It was a simple gesture, but it gave him the confidence and comfort he so  _ desperately _ needed. David was next, saying 

 

“Holy shit, come ere’ ye beautiful bastard!” before he pulled him into what was probably the  _ tightest _ hug he’d ever received in his life. Evan was last, staring at him with a shy grin. Jonathan smiled back just as if not  _ more _ awkwardly, letting out a small,

 

“Hey,” before Evan’s grin widened and he too pulled him into a tight hug, and Jonathan  _ melted. _ His legs damn near gave out under him as he turned to  _ jelly _ in his arms, sighing contentedly and hugging back just as tightly. Something about this felt so  _ right _ and he felt so much more  _ complete _ than he  _ ever _ had and he never wanted it to end. It was over all too soon, and when he pulled back and met Evan’s deep brown eyes, his heart hammered against his ribs, as if it was trying to  _ burst _ out of his chest. He hoped his face wasn’t as hot and red as it felt, though from the knowing look on David’s face as the Irishman stared at him, he knew it was. 

 

\---------------

 

“Oh  _ fuck _ you Nogla, you fuckin’ potato fucking  _ cock _ !” It was the third time that race that David had managed to hit Tyler with a red shell, and as you can probably imagine, he was most  _ definitely not _ happy. The Irishman merely laughed at his frustration, this time nailing Marcel with  _ yet another _ red shell, drawing equally angry cries from him as well. 

 

“I’ve already fallen off this stupid fucking map  _ eight times, _ Nogla! Keep your fuckin’ shells the fuck away from me!!” Evan laughed loudly at their antics, trying to catch up to Jonathan. He was only one spot ahead of him, so he didn’t hesitate to hit him with a green shell right before they crossed the finish line,which ended up putting Jonathan in  _ dead last. _

 

“Oh fuck you Vanoss,” he said with his usual delirious laugh. He swatted at Evan’s shoulder, though there was no real bite to it. He ended up in last place, much to everyone else’s amusement, though he didn’t mind too horribly. He’d never been one to rage much as it was. 

 

The night continued much in that manner, a little bit of their usual joking around, a  _ lot _ of yelling and throwing things at each other, but mostly it was just  _ fun, _ having them all together for once. Or at least, the few of them who had been able to make it. 

 

Evan kept finding his eyes wandering over to Jonathan again and again, each time noticing things he hadn’t at the start. His ears were pierced, for one. Black studs in each, with a few going up his left ear. He had tattoos as well, though Evan couldn’t make out the full design. He was sort of like a prettier version of his GTA avatar, and Evan wasn’t sure how he felt about thinking that. He decided it was something he’d dwell on later, trying to turn his attention back to the conversation. 

 

Soon enough, they were all heading to bed, taking up either the couch or one of the guest rooms. Some of them had to double up for there to be enough room for them all, Tyler of course making gay jokes about it the entire time. He and Craig took one room, David and Marcel in another, leaving Jonathan to choose to either share with Evan, or take the couch. He had opted for the couch, but was only met with Evan  _ insisting _ that he take the bed, that it would be  _ fine _ and  _ it’s not going to be awkward, I just feel bad if you’re on the couch. It’s not very comfortable for sleeping.  _ Jonathan heaved a sigh, then agreed. They changed in silence, backs to each other before sliding into bed.

 

“I’m glad you decided to come join us,” Evan said once the lights were turned out. Jonathan rolled over to face him, the blankets pulled up to his nose. 

 

“Me too,” he said with a small smile. 

 

“What do you wanna do tomorrow?” Jonathan opened his mouth to answer, but instead let out a yawn.

 

“Dunno. We can figure it out in the morning, or afternoon, whenever the hell we wake up.” Evan nodded.

 

“Yeah, we’ll have to see what those idiots want to do too.”

 

“Yeah. I’m gonna sleep. Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you wake up,” Jonathan said playfully, rolling over to put his back to Evan. “Night.”

 

“Goodnight, Jon.”

 

\---------------

 

When Jonathan awoke the next morning, like many before it, a voice was singing in his head, the space of the bed beside him cold. He opened his eyes, expecting to be back at home in his own room, only to be greeted with the sight of Evan’s room instead. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes tiredly before slipping out of bed. He didn’t know what time it was, though it wasn’t very bright so he assumed it must still be early. He slipped on his blue hoodie and exited the room, then stopped dead in his tracks.

 

He could hear music.

 

Not just in his head, not just the singing he’d grown to love so much, but the gentle strums of a guitar from down the hall. His heart picked up its pace, jumping into his throat as he tried to force his legs to move forward. He stumbled at first, barely catching himself, and kept walking until he reached the door that the music was coming from. It was open a small crack, and Jonathan pressed his face closer to see through the small opening. The voice carried through the door, and continued to occupy Jonathan’s mind through the bond. 

 

Evan sat on a large chair, strumming his guitar and singing softly. Jonathan was fairly certain in that moment that his heart seized in his chest. He couldn’t even draw breath into his lungs. He stood there, still as ever, before his lungs were  _ burning _ and he ended up coughing loudly a few times. Evan stopped suddenly, looking up and seeing him at the door.

 

“You okay?” he asked as he got up, setting down the guitar. He opened the door completely, and Jonathan managed to regain proper control of his breathing. He nodded quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. It’s just become something of a tradition, I guess you could say.” Evan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. Jonathan just stared, openmouthed.  _ You’re my soulmate. _ He wanted to say it, he wanted to. The words were there on the tip of his tongue, waiting to spill over. But instead, what he said was,

 

“I didn’t know you could sing.” He wanted to  _ literally _ punch himself.  _ The fuck are you doing, Jon? Fuckin tell him. _ But he couldn’t do it. Evan sputtered out something resembling a laugh and said,

 

“I-I  _ can’t. _ Not  _ well, _ at least.” Jonathan shook his head.

 

“You sound fine to me.”  _ Say it. Tell him. Say it say it sayitsayitsayitsayitsay- _

 

“Ah, well, thank you.” Evan looked at the ground between them, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. And once again, Jonathan could feel himself  _ melting _ at the sight of Evan, all  _ flustered and shy _ , because of  _ him. _ It filled him with a warm and fuzzy feeling that spread all the way from his fingers to his toes, his whole body tingly and  _ warm _ . His legs were jello once again, and he  _ prayed  _ to whatever the hell is out there that Evan  _ wouldn’t notice _ what he was unknowingly doing to him. 

 

“So, uh, anyways I’m sorry I woke you.” Jonathan was pretty sure he was going to have a heart attack if this continued for too much longer. He wasn’t used to seeing the canadian in general, let alone like  _ this. _ His mouth felt dry as he managed out an answer.

 

“I-It’s fine. I don’t mind.” His voice sounded raspy even to his own ears. Evan looked at him in concern.

 

“You okay?” he asked gently. Jonathan nodded stiffly.

 

“Yeah, just need some water.” Evan led him down to the kitchen and handed him a glass, which Jonathan downed in only a few gulps. He took a few heavy breaths before saying his thanks, to which Evan nodded in response. They stood in silence for a few moments, the words still dancing on the tip of Jonathan’s tongue.

 

“Evan, I need to tell you something.” He stood straight, determined. Evan watched him patiently, waiting for him to continue. Jonathan stared into his deep brown eyes, gathering up his nerve. “I-”

 

“Mornin’,” Craig walked in, effectively silencing Jonathan and dissipating the serious air between him and Evan. Craig looked back and forth between the two, sensing that he had interrupted something. “Uhh, should I give you guys a few?” He pointed behind him and half turned to leave before Jonathan stopped him.

 

“No, it’s fine. Why are you up so early?” he changed the subject quickly, ignoring the pointed looks from Evan. 

 

“Eh, force of habit I guess. I usually wake up around this time.” Craig shrugged and poured himself a glass of orange juice. “What about you two?” Evan answered first.

 

“I was playing some music. Ended up waking him up,” he motioned towards Jonathan, smiling at him apologetically.

 

“Ev, I already told you it’s  _ fine _ .” Jonathan flashed him a sideways glance and a lopsided grin,  _ hoping _ that he came off casual enough instead of how he really felt, like his chest was going to  _ explode.  _ He seemed to pass it off well enough, and the conversation gradually shifted to activities for that day. 

 

“So the beach then?” Craig looked at Evan, who nodded and said,

 

“Fine by me,” before they both looked to Jonathan. He nodded hesitantly, sure that this would only end badly, but not having a reason why they shouldn’t go to give them, he begrudgingly agreed. 

 

\---------------

 

This was a  _ terrible _ idea. Really just awful. Jonathan stayed in the water the whole time, trying to cool his rapidly rising body temperature whenever Evan got anywhere within  _ ten feet _ of him. He walked out into the ocean until the water was just below his nose so he could breathe, and stayed there, surveying their little group as they played volleyball or splashed around nearby. He was  _ certain _ that his face was red as a tomato. He hoped nobody would notice. But of course, Jonathan was never that lucky.

 

“Ye just gonna sit out here by yourself scowling all day?” David swam up beside him, casting a smug grin his way. Jonathan glared at him, treading water so he could speak.

 

“Fuck off, Nogla.”

 

“Geez, bad mood, eh? What’s goin’ on?” He spoke lightheartedly, but Jonathan could detect the seriousness underneath. David may joke around and troll everyone a lot, but he knew deep down he cared about them all very much, and would always be willing to listen to their troubles and not tell a soul. Jonathan sighed before answering.

 

“Sorry, just not feeling too great.” The Irishman stared at him for a long moment, waiting for him to go on. When Jonathan didn’t offer any more information, he spoke again.

 

“Well? What is it?” he spoke much quieter now, a wordless reassurance that the rest of the guys wouldn’t be told a  _ word _ unless Jonathan said so himself. He sighed again, propelling himself into slightly shallower water so he could stand with his head fully out of the water. David followed silently and waited patiently for him to continue.

 

“Evan’s my soulmate.” Jonathan decided being straightforward was the best course of action here. “I found out this morning. He doesn’t know yet.” David stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes before his face broke out into a wide grin.

 

“So my ship’s becoming real?” he said excitedly, gripping Jonathan’s arms tightly before laughing loudly and pulling him into a hug. “Oh my days, I can’t believe that you an-” Jonathan pulled away abruptly and clapped a hand over his mouth. His eyes flashed dangerously. David settled down, letting go of the shorter man and holding his hands up in surrender. Jonathan dropped his hand into the water. “Sorry, got a bit excited there. So why haven’t you told him yet ya doof?” Jonathan’s shoulders raised defensively.

 

“I was going to, but then fuckin’ Craig walked in and interrupted.” he was pouting now, staring grumpily at the water. David let out a light chuckle.

 

“So when are you gonna tell him?” Jonathan gave a half-hearted shrug.

 

“I dunno yet,” he admitted quietly. He wanted to, but there was too much holding him back. Too many things he was scared of. He  _ knew _ his feelings were no longer platonic, but he didn’t know if Evan would reciprocate, he didn’t know if all the canadian would want was a close friendship. He didn’t need to vocalize his feelings for David to get the picture.

 

“Do ye know why I ship you two?” he asked gently. Jonathan met his eyes and shook his head. “You two have always been drawn to each other, ye know? It’s not surprising that you’re soulmates. I’m sure Evan feels the same way, even if he doesn’t fully realize it yet.” He smiled softly at Jonathan. Jonathan just stared up at the irishman, unsure of how to respond.

 

“How are you so sure?” David full on  _ laughed  _ at him then, his loud cackles causing a few of the guys to turn their way in question, grins on their own faces. He waved them off as his giggles died down.

 

“I know because I can  _ see it. _ Have ye seen how you two look at each other sometimes? Honestly, if you  _ weren’t _ soulmates, I’d think the universe had made a mistake.” Jonathan tried to find some trace of a lie, any evidence that David was messing with him, but could find none. 

 

“So what should I do?”

 

“Tell him tonight. I’ll find some way to get you guys alone, you can have a talk, and after, maybe a little somethin’  _ extra _ ,” David wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, laughing again when Jonathan splashed water into his face before giggling a bit himself.

 

“Thanks, Nogla.” David just nodded and smiled widely.

 

“Happy to help, Delirious.”

 

\--------------- 

 

That night, as promised, David had managed to get Jonathan and Evan alone, although it hadn’t gone  _ quite _ as expected. He had briefed the rest of the guys on the gist of the situation, after being given permission from Jonathan. Tyler was given the job of distracting Evan for a little while out of the house, leaving Jonathan, David, Craig, and Marcel to figure out  _ exactly _ what Jon was going to do, and what he’d say. 

 

They only had two hours  _ tops _ , and no time to waste. They managed to get everything sorted out. The plan was going off without a hitch so far, and Jonathan was  _ determined _ not to mess anything up. His heart was racing, his stomach doing nervous little flips as he waited on the front porch for Evan and Tyler to return.

 

As soon as Evan was in sight, he walked over to him and Tyler, the tallest not saying a word as he departed from the two. 

 

“Walk with me for a bit.” Jonathan’s voice was shaky and came out closer to a whisper than a normal speaking tone, but Evan didn’t comment on it, instead nodding and following Jonathan down the street to a little pocket park nearby. 

 

“Is this about what you were gonna tell me this morning?” Evan asked gently. He took a seat beside Jonathan on a small wooden bench. The sun was setting, turning the sky into brilliant shades of pink and purple and orange, stars dotting the eastern horizon. Evan could faintly see the moon in the fading blue light above. Jonathan didn’t answer him for a long moment, staring up at the sky before letting his eyes slip closed. The fading light framed him in a way that was almost picturesque. Evan probably would have snapped a photo, if it weren’t for this unseen  _ weight _ in the air around them. Then, it all came out in a long  _ rush _ of breath.

 

“I wanted to tell you then, before Craig walked in, but obviously that didn’t happen, so I have to tell you now, and really you should have known first but then David kept asking questions and I needed his and the rest of the guys to help out so they all know now too and it’s just a lot messier than I wanted this to go and I don’t even know what’s gonna happen now or how you’re gonna take it, but-”

 

“Jonathan!” Evan interrupted. “Jon, slow down. What is it? You’re not making  _ any _ sense right now.”

 

“I have to tell you something. Something really important.” Jonathan took a deep breath before meeting Evan’s eyes, intensity  _ burning  _ in his own. Evan stared back, his own eyes wide and he held his breath as he waited for Jonathan to speak again. His next words knocked the air right out of his lungs.

 

“You’re my soulmate.”

 

Evan could feel his heart jump in his chest.  _ How? Is this real? _ He didn’t move a muscle, continuing to stare, unblinking, into the blue eyes in front of him. Jonathan forced himself to not look away, his heart beating faster in his chest the longer Evan remained silent. 

 

“We’re… I… Soulmate…” Evan’s mouth felt dry. He couldn’t form a single coherent thought, let alone  _ sentence. _ He kept opening and closing his mouth as he tried to think of the right words to say in that moment.  _ Soulmates. Jonathan is my soulmate. _ “We’re soulmates,” he tried again, voice barely even a whisper. Jonathan nodded stiffly. 

 

“Yeah, I realized it this morning, and I kind of panicked when I found out, and I know, I  _ know _ I should have said something then, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up, or how you’d react or what would happen next and I just got so  _ scared, _ Evan.” Jonathan’s voice cracked slightly at the end, and he looked down at his hands sitting in his lap. “Look, I don’t know where you want to go from here. If you want this to be platonic or not, but, fuck, Ev. I like you, in a not platonic way. And now that I know we’re  _ soulmates, _ I just… I want to give this a try, if you want it too.” He looked up at Evan again, meeting his eyes to make  _ sure _ that Evan  _ knew he meant it. _

 

Evan could  _ feel _ the strain it had taken the other man to say all of that to him, and he was so utterly and completely  _ floored _ . He didn’t know  _ what  _ to say.  _ Did _ he like Jonathan too? It wasn’t something he had given much thought to, although he definitely couldn’t deny a certain…  _ attraction _ to the man. He knew he had to say something soon,  _ knew _ that he was making Jonathan  _ panic _ inside because  _ he could feel it too. _

 

“Yes,” he answered, out of breath and effectively getting Jonathan’s attention. He snapped his head back up, and Evan was stunned into silence again by the vibrant  _ blue _ of his eyes. He forced himself to keep focused and speak once again. “I-I want to try. I want to see where this is gonna go, too.” and then, Jonathan cracked.

 

“Oh,” he said, relieved. He looked away from Evan, out in front of him. His eyes  _ burned. _ The stress of it all had rendered his emotional control to be much  _ weaker _ than it usually was. He smiled, giggling a little when the tears spilled over, coating his cheeks.

 

“Jonathan!” Evan said, alarmed. He reached out, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him so they were facing each other. Jonathan was looking up at him, still laughing slightly.

 

“God, I was so  _ scared _ you wouldn’t even wanna be friends. I know it’s stupid, I just… I couldn’t shake the  _ thought, _ you know?” Evan shook his head fondly, a small smile gracing his face. He pulled Jonathan into a tight hug and said,

 

“You’re an idiot, Jon. Of course I want you around. Even if we  _ weren’t  _ soulmates. You’re too important to lose like that.” Evan was shocked at the truthfulness of his own words. He hadn’t thought about it much before, but losing Jonathan would  _ crush  _ him, soulmates or not. They stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing each other in and feeling the warmth and how finally, everything seemed to feel  _ right,  _ and  _ complete _ . It was Jonathan who finally broke away.

 

“We should head back. The guys’ll probably get a bit suspicious by now.” They stood from the bench, an electricity flowing between them when their hands brushed. Evan was the one who finally decided enough was enough, and took Jonathan’s hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. Jonathan felt his face flush red, remaining silent and adamantly  _ refusing _ to look at the canadian.

 

When they got back to the house, there was a note on the front door. 

 

_ Hey you two ;) _

_ We set up a little surprise for you both. Hope ye enjoy. You’ll have the place to yourselves for the night. We don’t want to uh..  _

_ Interrupt anything. _

_ Have fun! _

_ Love, _

_ The Boys _

 

Jonathan and Evan chuckled at the note as they read it.

 

“Those dorks. We aren’t gonna be  _ fucking _ on the  _ first night. _ ” Jonathan said, exasperated.

 

“Aw, you sure? I was looking forward to it,” Evan joked, wiggling his eyebrows and effectively eliciting a loud laugh from Jonathan. 

 

“God,  _ shut up, _ asshole.” He pushed Evan’s shoulder before opening the door and stepping into the house. He damn near fell backwards out of the house when he saw what their friends had done.

 

Little blue string lights decorated the hallway down into the kitchen, winding around the room and drenching it in a soft light. Some candles were set on the table, along with a bottle of wine. The floor was littered with rose petals, and a box of pizza was sitting on the counter with another note on top of it.

 

_ We were short on time, couldn’t really make a five star meal, so we hope this will suffice. _

 

Those guys…. Jonathan couldn’t help the fondness that took over him. They really were _great_ _friends._ _Got all the cliché in here, eh?_ He shook his head with a small laugh before turning to Evan. The asian looked around the room with a sort of _childlike wonder_ , and Jonathan felt his heart beat painfully in his chest, though it felt much less suffocating now. Instead, it almost felt like what he imagined flying would be, if he had his own wings. He felt light and free. _Happy._ He met Evan’s eyes with a wide grin.

 

“Well, looks like we have a pretty fancy dinner for tonight.” Evan returned the smile and pulled out one of the chairs, motioning for Jonathan to take a seat. He did so with a flourish.

 

“Why  _ thank you _ , my good man,” he said in some poor imitation of a fancy ‘accent.’

 

“Why you are  _ quite welcome, _ my good sir,” Evan returned in a similar manner. They chuckled lightly at their own stupid jokes, and set about to enjoying their little romantic dinner. They acted much like they normally would, cracking stupid jokes, poking fun at each other, but mostly they just enjoyed  _ each other. _ They got lost in the  _ feelings _ and the  _ atmosphere _ and how everything finally felt  _ perfect _ and  _ right. _

 

It was something neither of them had truly experienced before, the pure euphoric  _ delight _ they felt just being close like this, only being further emphasized when they curled up on the couch after dinner for a movie. Evan laid down the length of the couch, Jonathan curled up to his side with his head on his chest. He could feel himself growing a bit sleepy as he listened to Evan’s soft heartbeat. He smiled lightly.

 

“Evan,” he murmured softly.

 

“Hm?”

 

“I’m really happy right now.” 

 

“Mm. Me too, Jon.”

 

\---------------

 

Evan awoke the next morning with a comfortable weight on his chest, and a light feeling swelling within him. He blinked lazily a few times, squinting in the bright light seeping in through the curtains. He could feel something tickling his neck, and when he glanced down he was greeted with a head of brown hair. 

 

Jonathan slept calmly, breathing softly, his face buried in Evan’s chest. Evan didn’t want to move, to disturb his sleep, but he knew he’d have to eventually, and his body was a bit stiff and sore from sleeping on the couch. Much to his own disdain, he lightly shook Jonathan’s shoulder.

 

“Mmm. Nooo,” Jonathan groaned. His fingers dug into Evan’s shirt as he curled his hand into a fist and turned his head to hide from the light. “Don’t wanna move yet,” he complained. Evan laughed softly, a deep rumble in his chest that Jonathan heard right in his ear, turning his  _ whole body  _ into  _ mush. _ He finally lifted his head, looking up at the canadian blearily. Evan couldn’t help but think he looked absolutely  _ adorable _ like this, still half asleep with his hair disheveled and sticking up in all different directions. 

 

“Come on, Jonathan,” he cooed softly. “Let’s at least move to the bed. This couch gets kinda uncomfortable after a while.”

 

“Yeah, but  _ you _ don’t.” Despite that, Jonathan still forced himself up, staggering to his feet and nearly falling over without Evan holding him upright. Evan smiled at Jonathan, and it was so  _ endearing _ and full of emotion that Jonathan could feel his  _ heart _ melting this time. Evan stared at him with such a profound fondness, and when he leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose, Jonathan was fairly certain his heart had stopped beating altogether. His face felt like it was a thousand degrees when Evan took him by the hand and led him upstairs. They changed into sweatpants and t-shirts wordlessly, then curled up under the covers in bed.

 

Evan pulled Jonathan close, engulfing him with his body heat and sighing contentedly. Then,

 

_ I don’t ever wanna come up for air _

_ Maybe we can just stay right here til’ this world is over _

_ I try to hold back but I let it out _

_ I’m not even sure what I’m on about _

_ I guess all I’m trying to say is _

_ That I will love you, even if we’re just energy out in the universe _

 

Jonathan sang softly, eyes closed as he recited the song. His voice was quiet, and still a bit off key, but Evan still thought it was the most _ beautiful _ sound he’d ever heard. He loosened his grip enough to look Jonathan in the eyes with  _ pure adoration _ on his own face, before he finally, _ finally, _ captured his lips in a soft kiss. 

 

It’s a cliché to say, but they could both  _ swear _ sparks really flew between them, electricity traveling through both of their bodies when their lips connected. Evan cupped Jonathan’s face gently in his hands, and Jonathan wrapped one arm around his waist, pulling him  _ impossibly _ closer. When they broke apart, they were breathless, and their hearts beat rapidly in unison, but everything truly felt  _ right. _ Jonathan felt he was finally  _ whole, _ that the void he’d felt inside him was finally filled because of the  _ gorgeous _ man holding him closer than ever. 

 

Jonathan leaned up once more, pressing his lips to Evan’s again and smiling so big it hurt his cheeks, but he didn’t care. Right now, all that mattered was his  _ soulmate, _ the one person who meant the most to him in the entire world, who  _ completed  _ him like a missing puzzle piece, who made him  _ melt _ with the simplest of things, like the flush of his cheeks or the way his voice sounded as he laughed or sang. Jonathan kissed him again and again, relishing in the laughs it drew from the canadian, his  _ soulmate _ as he did so. 

 

He was  _ never _ letting this man go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope ye enjoyed!  
> Like I said before, I wrote this mostly to take my mind off stuff, so it was mostly for me in all honesty. I hope you enjoyed either way. Don't forget to leave kudos and a comment!! ^-^
> 
> Songs:  
> A Toast to the Future Kids! - Emarosa  
> Hearts and Spades (acoustic) - I the Mighty  
> Targets - With Hours Waiting  
> Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie  
> Iridescent - Linkin Park  
> Seaside - The Kooks (I personally imagined Daithi’s cover of it but you can choose whichever version you want I guess)  
> Where You Let it Go - I the Mighty


End file.
